Today on Palm Beaches Gameday Dolphins Linebacker Akin Ayodele called his coach Tony Soprano instead of Tony Sparano. Edwin Corn then came up with the idea of coming up with an entire staff of coaches that had names resembling TV characters. Here's my list:

Tony Sparano- Head Coach

Jerry Seinfled- Offensive Coordinator

Homer Sampson- Defensive Coordinator

Archie Buckner- Tight Ends

Ralph Krampton- Wide Receivers

Jed Camplett- Special Teams

Andy Griffin- Quarterbacks

Bob Hewnart- Strength and Conditioning

Murphy Braun- Offensive Line

Al Budney- Running Backs

Ray Ronamo- Defensive Line

Bill Crosby- Kicking

Arthur Fonzoleri- Secondary

What are some other good ones?

Sunfest was a fantastic event and the Captain Morgan's ESPN Radio 760 Sports Barge was the place to be. I am just going to give you some tidbits from the weekend as it would take a year and a day to give you all the details and you wouldn't read them anyway.

-Friday night I got a ride from Steve and as we got out of the car he asked me if he should go with a short or long sleeved shirt. I said short with my logic being that he definitely wouldn't regret that, while he may end up wanting to kill himself with a long sleeve shirt on. The moment I said that he went with the long sleeves. Three hours later he was regretting the long sleeves.

-I danced more this weekend than I have in any one year of my life. I would put my approximate TSD (time spent dancing) at about 13 hours. That's not bad for a fat guy.

-Late Friday night Steve, JMP, and I took a trip to the restroom. When I say restroom, I mean Port-A-Potty, and the line was at least 15 deep. We were standing there for a bit when a very large man and his wife decided they were going to cut the line. I'm not sure what came over me but I yelled at the guy that we were waiting in line. He decided to just walk away but it easily could have gotten ugly. You would think that I would have false confidence because I was with a group but Steve quickly said that he would not have my back. Shocking.

-I caught a little of Fergie's act. I wasn't impressed. Apparently being Fergalicious entails not putting on a very good show.

-Saturday night was a fantastic party. The entire barge was shaking from all the people dancing. It was amazing.

-JMP has a very interesting style of dancing. No sober man should move that way.

-Sunday was my day on the mic and it was a blast. There was a three year old young man that I dubbed ladykilla that kept me and many others entertained all day.

There is much more that I could talk about but I really need a shower. The main lesson is that there is no party ESPN Radio 760 Party cuz an ESPN Radio 760 Party don't stop!

Alcohol is bad. I always forget that on Saturday nights but I remember again on Sunday.

As I write this it is late afternoon and my head is still spinning every time I stand up. My innards feel as if they have liquified and it has been a truly awful day all around.

The only positive is that I did watch a great movie that I haven't seen in a long time. The Fugitive starring Harrison Ford was on TNT and I got caught up in it. I have watched the movie several times but I never noticed how comically bad the fight scenes are. I felt as if I were watching a late night, low budget Skinemax action movie. The fight on the subway between Ford and the one armed man is truly ridiculous. I still love the movie and I'm glad I saw it even though I feel as if someone just hit me in the head with a shovel.

Is there a cure for a hangover? I think a bullet will do the trick.

There is finally something to maybe be interested about in the NBA Playoffs. I have been extremely disappointed thus far by the first round of the NBA Playoffs. It seemed like it was going to be so good but it has been so bad. Don't get me wrong, these matchups may still end up being terrible. In fact, they probably will but at least there is a glimmer of hope that there could be a good series in the first round.

I am not including the Jazz-Rockets in this discussion because the Rockets have no chance. They are done. I know they won a game in Utah, but I don't think they win another one and they gave up two games on their home floor. Toronto and Washington did what they were supposed to do and defended their home floor so maybe they can do it again and then we'll have a series. They will probably both lose and the Playoffs will be terrible, or as Charles Barkley says turrible.

I had the opportunity to watch the Hopkins-Calzaghe fight this weekend and I was bored. I think being a fan of MMA has desensitized me to the point that only the very best boxing matches are even slightly entertaining. The best boxer in the world is Floyd Mayweather and while there were a few minutes in his last fight that were exciting, most of his fights seem to be boring technical battles. Unless of course he is fighting the Big Show. I think the burgeoning popularity of MMA is going to make boxing less and less relevant by the day. While boxing faces major issues, MMA has some problems of its own.

I am a big fan of MMA but it does have some issues that are starting to surface. The first is that it is tough to follow fighters. By the time a fighter has fought his way to being respected and people start to follow him, he gets knocked out by a faster, younger, and stronger guy. Ask Chuck Liddell or Rich Franklin about that. Parity is something we have regularly talked about for the last few years in sports but it negatively affects MMA because as soon as the stars start to get a foothold and gain some popularity they are knocked off of their perch by a young upstart.

Another issue for MMA is the different leagues. Fedor Emilianenko is widely considered the best fighter in the world but due to very sticky contractual issues we may never see him get to fight Randy Couture. It is a shame but it is also understandable. It makes no sense for Dana White, the owner of the UFC, to alllow his biggest fighters to take on people outside of the UFC because what if his guy loses? If Fedor and Couture fought right now and Fedor won, what would happen to the UFC Heavyweight Belt? Would it be forfeited? It simply doesn't make sense for guys like Dana White and it will prevent these super fights from happening. The bottom line is that MMA is definitely the best product as far as fighting goes but there are still problems that need to be addressed.

This is from urbandictionary.com :

Wingman
A Wingman is a guy you bring along with you on singles
outings (like to bars) that helps you out with the women.

I'm not willing to say that I am the best ever but we learned this weekend that I am pretty good. I can't give all of the details away here as we will probably talk about this on the air but here is a little taste of what happened. I approached a girl at a local establishment for a friend of mine who you may or may not have heard on Palm Beaches Gameday recently.

As I start to talk to the young lady, I notice that she is there with a guy that is next to her, a girl that is next to him, and another dude next to her. I didn't realize why at the time but the dude on the end was glaring at me like he wanted a piece of the J-Mart Warrior which is kinda like the Ultimate Warrior from the WWF but fatter, less athletic, and not a fighter. At that point the young lady invited my friend and I to have a shot with her and her friend. What I didn't remember until later was that when I walked up, those shots were on the bar and ready to go, which means that either the young lady is a psychic and knew that I was about to approach her, or those shots were meant for those other dudes.

When I recounted the full story for my friend he said that if he were one of those guys at the bar, I would have gotten a faceful of fist but since it wasn't him, he was grateful. This Wingman's job is done.